Is Your Marriage In Trouble!? Gottman’s 4 Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling

Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, also known by world renowned marriage researcher John Gottman as the Four Horsemen, are signs that your marriage may, or more likely is, in need of repair. Gottman, who, along with his wife Julie, run The Gottman Institute ( a website for individuals, couples, parents and professionals alike that provides an incredible amount of information, and training, that “not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but strengthens happy ones.”

In this episode, Tony discusses Ellie Lisitsa’s article from the Gottman website, “The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.” Learn why these communication styles can, according to Gottman’s research, often predict the end of a relationship, and, more importantly, what you can do to be aware of these unhealthy styles, and what to do when you recognize them.

Tony also references the Virtual Couch episode 67, Rules of Konstructive Communication, which can be found by clicking here is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to for 10% off your first month of services.

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