Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting with the Emotionally Immature/Narcissist

Tony unpacks the complexities of co-parenting with a narcissistic or emotionally immature individual. Addressing a listener’s question, Tony delves into the nature of developing children, labeling them as ‘little narcissists’ due to their inherently self-centered perspective. Tony identifies this as a critical stage of normal human development and explains how these traits vary distinctively in the adult narcissist. He also shares his four-pillar framework for effective communication – assuming good intentions, avoiding declaring the other person wrong, asking questions before commenting, and leaning in and staying present. He demonstrates how these can be applied in co-parenting scenarios.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:17 Reflecting on the Past and Looking Forward

00:58 Discussing Parenting and Co-Parenting

01:37 Understanding the Impact of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

02:06 Exploring the Concept of ‘Little Narcissists’

02:46 Case Study: Sarah’s Experience with Divorce

04:03 The Importance of Communication in Parenting

05:07 Understanding the Impact of Parental Decisions on Children

06:01 The Role of Therapy in Understanding Childhood Experiences

06:15 Understanding the Self-Centered Nature of Children

07:08 The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children

09:26 Navigating Parenting Challenges with a Difficult Partner

11:47 Understanding the Concept of ‘Little Narcissists’ in Parenting

14:59 The Difference Between Healthy Self-Care and Emotionally Immature Selfishness

25:34 Understanding Egosyntonic and Ego-Dystonic Concepts in Parenting

28:44 Understanding Egosyntonic Narcissism and Emotional Maturity

29:14 Co-parenting with a Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Partner

29:27 The Importance of Fostering Healthy Development in Children

30:30 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation

31:41 Applying the Four Pillars in Different Contexts

35:27 The Role of the Four Pillars in Co-parenting

57:53 The Impact of the Four Pillars on Children

01:00:02 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony’s newsletter, and more at

And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast “Murder on the Couch,” where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here

Subscribe to Tony’s latest podcast, “Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A – Premium Podcast,” on the Apple Podcast App.

Go to to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. 

You can learn more about Tony’s pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting And visit and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the “uh’s” and “um’s” that, in his words, “must be created by wizards and magic!” because it’s that good! To learn more about Descript, click here

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top