acceptance and commitment therapy

All These Fears Will Be For Your Good – Facing the Fear Trap

True or false? You only use 10 percent of your brain? Albert Einstein was a lousy student, and look how he turned out! Positive affirmations will lead you to self-love and happiness. To get the answers, you’ll need to listen to this episode, but (spoiler alert) we are often building meaning and judging ourselves based …

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Intimacy (aka S-E-X) w/Dan Purcell of “Get Your Marriage On!”

Let’s talk about S to the E-X, aka “intimacy.” Dan Purcell, host of the “Get Your Marriage On” podcast as well as the “Intimately Us” app https://r.intimately.us/tonyoverbay joins Tony to talk about the mission that he, along with his wife Emily, share of strengthening marriages by helping them deepen their connection through both physical and …

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Managing the Mind Boggle: Navigating through Nice Guys, Narcissists, and the Emotionally Immature – Plus, Is Change Real or Temporary?

Today’s show notes have been generated by ChatGPT-4 based on the transcript of the episode: Tony takes a deep dive into understanding and distinguishing between three complex behavioral patterns – Nice Guy/Girl Syndrome, Emotional Immaturity, and Narcissism.  Tony kicks off the discussion with a comprehensive analysis of Nice Guy/Girl Syndrome. He defines the syndrome, deciphers …

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Teaching Our Kids (and our inner-child) Emotional Intelligence

Childhood abandonment and neglect issues can manifest in seemingly unrelated ways in adulthood. In this episode, Tony helps you identify how they show up and how you can help your kids become more emotionally intelligent and resilient. Tony’s muse today is an article by Jonice Webb, a licensed psychologist and author of two books, Running …

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If You Aren’t Willing to Have It (Anxiety, Fear, Doubt, Depression et al.) You Will – Understanding Acceptance

Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of the groundbreaking therapy technique Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), says, “If you’re not willing to have it, then you will.” Have what, you might ask? Anything you are trying to get rid of, from anxiety and depression to fear and loss. So what if the key to overcoming your …

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Feeling Stuck? Recognizing the Negative Effects of Regret and Rumination

“Regret is a common feeling that has both negative and positive effects,” Sian Ferguson from the article “How to Move Past Regret.” https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-powerful-exercise-for-moving-past-regret Tony talks about regret and rumination’s roles in keeping people stuck in a trauma bond with a narcissist.  And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of …

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Habit, Addict or Unconscious Response? The Latest Research on Why We Do What We Do!

Did you know that more than 40 percent of everything you do is habitual? Are you addicted to your phone or social media? Or are you simply responding to a well-worn neurological cue/reward pattern? Tony discusses the latest in habit research from the article “How to Conquer Your Primitive Brain” by Adam Piore. https://apple.news/A9pURuj3OQL-UNnUw6bnn9A Find …

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McKinley Overbay – When Your Moment of Insane Courage Leads to Big Change…and a Little Bit of Throw Up

Virtual Couch favorite and Tony’s daughter, McKinley “Mackie” Overbay, joins the podcast to talk about some big changes happening in her life and how she has been able to do difficult, scary things despite having “all of the emotions.” You can follow Mackie on Instagram @beautybymackie and mention the Virtual Couch Podcast for $10 off …

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Eating Chocolate – An Emotional Control Strategy or a Way to Stay Present?

Exercise, meditation, prayer, and eating good food all sound like wonderful, emotional-baseline-raising activities. But depending on how you’re doing them, they could also be a way to eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. Tony looks at “creative helplessness” and “emotional control strategies” and how they play into our search for happiness. Tony references Russ Harris’ book …

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The Very Most Bestest Way to Change – aka Cognitive Flexibility

Tony tackles an essential skill needed for lasting change, “cognitive flexibility,” from the book ACT Made Simple – Second Edition by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/3FsneJ0 If you are interested in being coached in Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage Podcast,” please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode …

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