communication

From Gaslighting to Greatness…You ARE Enough, Wonderful and Amazing!

Tony shares a question from his private Facebook group about gaslighting and “breaks down the game film” on why it is still difficult to change your patterns of communication with the narcissist even though you’re now aware of what you previously weren’t aware of. He shares some powerful responses to the question from members of …

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Reaction vs. Response – How to “Slow Your Roll”

When met with an unexpected situation, do you react or respond? And what is the difference? According to Dr. Matt James, while some people use the words interchangeably, there is a world of difference in their meanings. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201609/react-vs-respond Tony shares a story of showing up late to a recent speaking opportunity where he learned whether …

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Now It Makes More Sense! How Context Creates Connected Conversations

Each of us is a unique mixture of life experiences, and we bring all of those experiences into our conversations with others. In today’s episode, Tony explores the role of context in conversations. Tony shares an example of how one word can dramatically change the meaning of an entire paragraph from the book “On Being …

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Am I the Narcissist? Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Tendencies

Narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity, while as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use the label of narcissism too broadly, and if we spoke more about what narcissistic traits and tendencies looked like …

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To Be Heard Is To Be Healed – Connecting the 4 Pillars of Communication

Tony describes in detail how his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck, unheard, unseen, or unloved. The 4 Pillars are: 1) Assuming good intentions, 2) Don’t send the message of “you’re wrong” or “I don’t believe you,” EVEN IF you …

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How to Be Happy…Scientifically Speaking

Tony breaks down Douglas Kenrick, PhD’s article “7 Scientifically Supported Steps to Happiness,” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/202109/7-scientifically-supported-steps-happiness based off of Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book “The How of Happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want.” Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic #happiness #science #therapy #virtualcouch …

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What I Did During My Summer Vacation (aka A Therapist’s Take on Disneyland)

Tony talks about the mental health and life lessons learned on a recent trip to Disneyland, including the brain’s fascination with anticipation vs. reward, the psychological importance of nostalgia, the “Coolidge Effect,”; how to “let go and play” (http://playtheory.org). Plus, Tony shares the application of his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” with his wife …

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Highly Sensitive People (HSP) of the World Unite…I Mean if You Want To, If Not It’s Totally OK!

Do you often find yourself feeling emotionally invested in other people, movies, and TV shows? Do you feel like you take on the emotional state of those around you? Have you been told repeatedly to “just get over it” or “don’t be so sensitive,” or “don’t worry about it?” If so you may have heightened …

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How Many Positive Comments Does it Take So I Can Say Something Mean?

You’ve been patient, you’ve praised, but at what point can you finally let someone know how you really feel? Tony talks about Gottman’s “The Magic Relationship Ratio According to Science” of positive to negative interactions during conflict https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/ as well as Gottman’s 4 Horseman principal (Criticism, Content, Defensiveness and Stonewalling) https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch …

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How to Embrace Positive Tension In Your Relationship – Part 3 of 3 of the Magnetic Marriage Review

In part 3 of their 3 part series, Tony and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, give the final “ingredients” to creating a truly Magnetic Marriage…Presence and Radiance, Yin and Yang, or how to step into your core, confident self and show up, be there for your partner, and, in turn, for yourself. In part 1 of …

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